This reminded me of the following poem, which I hope might be some inspo:
I want to write about faith,
about the way the moon rises
over cold snow, night after night,
faithful even as it fades from fullness,
slowly becoming that last curving and impossible
sliver of light before the final darkness.
But I have no faith myself
I refuse it even the smallest entry.
Let this then, my small poem,
like a new moon, slender and barely open,
be the first prayer that opens me to faith.
-"Faith" by David Whyte
Thank you for having the faith to keep going and keep sharing.
By the way, I read the 50 ideas list and I thought of something that is kind of a weird combination of multiple of those. Have you tried Magic: The Gathering? It's free to play online nowadays, although there is a still a big community of people playing it IRL also. I used to play in middle school and then got back into it during Covid. Let me know if you ever want to play, maybe while on phone or Facetime :-D
Keep exploring the mushroom motif! I've been learning a lot about fungi lately, and there's some big, big picture takeaways. The connection of all things to all things. The freedom of development (mycelium have no predetermined shape - developmental indeterminism). And above all, that things being THINGS is hard to make truth of. That mushroom in the woods isn't a thing, on its own, its a manifestation of a lot of inter-organism processes. As William Bateson, who coined the word genetics, observed, “We commonly think of animals and plants as matter, but they are really systems through which matter is continually passing.”
Relate hard to things feeling harder than they "should", being hard on yourself as the default, and even the specific curse of working on an album forever without finishing it. (This is the year, it has to be!!!) I really recommend this Anthony de Mello talk I found on Spotify - if you have Spotify you can get it here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4JRD0QLyBbnoxeDQPTQUhQ?si=15f37104ebaf4b8f It's been helping me a lot with at least not feeling sad THAT I'm sad, which takes the sting out of things more than a little.
I feel you!! Though on a slightly different plane. I've been in this state of just working + doing whatever the kids want for so long, that now they don't actually need me all the time, I have NO IDEA WHAT TO DO with myself if I have free time. All the things I used to desperately wish I had time to do seem...blah. I'm uninspired and sad, and lonely all of a sudden. Then I think I should reach out to friends, who still exist somewhere, and maybe do something social! But it usually ends up insanely complex because everyone has different work schedules and family obligations and whatever else. AHHHHHHHH (existential yelling)
Anyhow, I have no advice at all, but sending virtual high fives anyway.
I recently decided that I’m going to do stuff. Even if it sounds and seems boring. That’s helping a little
Oooh, do tell: what kind of stuff? Is it just every day life stuff? Hobbies?
My job 😄 so yeah.
Hi Annie,
This reminded me of the following poem, which I hope might be some inspo:
I want to write about faith,
about the way the moon rises
over cold snow, night after night,
faithful even as it fades from fullness,
slowly becoming that last curving and impossible
sliver of light before the final darkness.
But I have no faith myself
I refuse it even the smallest entry.
Let this then, my small poem,
like a new moon, slender and barely open,
be the first prayer that opens me to faith.
-"Faith" by David Whyte
Thank you for having the faith to keep going and keep sharing.
By the way, I read the 50 ideas list and I thought of something that is kind of a weird combination of multiple of those. Have you tried Magic: The Gathering? It's free to play online nowadays, although there is a still a big community of people playing it IRL also. I used to play in middle school and then got back into it during Covid. Let me know if you ever want to play, maybe while on phone or Facetime :-D
https://magic.wizards.com/en/mtgarena
-Graham
Keep exploring the mushroom motif! I've been learning a lot about fungi lately, and there's some big, big picture takeaways. The connection of all things to all things. The freedom of development (mycelium have no predetermined shape - developmental indeterminism). And above all, that things being THINGS is hard to make truth of. That mushroom in the woods isn't a thing, on its own, its a manifestation of a lot of inter-organism processes. As William Bateson, who coined the word genetics, observed, “We commonly think of animals and plants as matter, but they are really systems through which matter is continually passing.”
Relate hard to things feeling harder than they "should", being hard on yourself as the default, and even the specific curse of working on an album forever without finishing it. (This is the year, it has to be!!!) I really recommend this Anthony de Mello talk I found on Spotify - if you have Spotify you can get it here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4JRD0QLyBbnoxeDQPTQUhQ?si=15f37104ebaf4b8f It's been helping me a lot with at least not feeling sad THAT I'm sad, which takes the sting out of things more than a little.
I go into the idea more here if you're interested (sorry for the plug): https://smalldarklight.substack.com/p/the-third-arrow
I feel you!! Though on a slightly different plane. I've been in this state of just working + doing whatever the kids want for so long, that now they don't actually need me all the time, I have NO IDEA WHAT TO DO with myself if I have free time. All the things I used to desperately wish I had time to do seem...blah. I'm uninspired and sad, and lonely all of a sudden. Then I think I should reach out to friends, who still exist somewhere, and maybe do something social! But it usually ends up insanely complex because everyone has different work schedules and family obligations and whatever else. AHHHHHHHH (existential yelling)
Anyhow, I have no advice at all, but sending virtual high fives anyway.