I relate to this so hard (as usual with most of what you write). I’ve been learning to do a better job of self-regulating but it’s tough to undo these defense mechanisms that have been forged from within the depths of my softy of a heart (one that is scared to death that I may not be worth being loved). And I’m finding the more I learn to love myself the less I fall mindlessly and automatically into people pleasing and trying to minimize how much space (physical , emotional, metaphysical) I’m taking up. Big time work in progress. Always thought I’d have it all figured out by now. I don’t. And oh my Annie I do miss you so terribly. Perhaps we could plan a way to be at the same geographical locale at the same time this summer or fall? I’m for realz serioso
Frieeeeeeend! The feelings are mutual, 1) that we need to have a hang soon and 2) that I thought I'd have out all figured out by now, too! But at least I'm getting more and more comfortable each year with the idea that it's just gonna be continual growth forever until the day I die hahasob. Come to Portland!
I relate to this so hard (as usual with most of what you write). I’ve been learning to do a better job of self-regulating but it’s tough to undo these defense mechanisms that have been forged from within the depths of my softy of a heart (one that is scared to death that I may not be worth being loved). And I’m finding the more I learn to love myself the less I fall mindlessly and automatically into people pleasing and trying to minimize how much space (physical , emotional, metaphysical) I’m taking up. Big time work in progress. Always thought I’d have it all figured out by now. I don’t. And oh my Annie I do miss you so terribly. Perhaps we could plan a way to be at the same geographical locale at the same time this summer or fall? I’m for realz serioso
Frieeeeeeend! The feelings are mutual, 1) that we need to have a hang soon and 2) that I thought I'd have out all figured out by now, too! But at least I'm getting more and more comfortable each year with the idea that it's just gonna be continual growth forever until the day I die hahasob. Come to Portland!