Deny Yourself Things for the Good of Humanity
Going without to go within
Awhile ago, I shared a story where I forbade myself to buy food and instead committed to eating all the leftovers in my fridge. (I know, my life is wild.)
Now, this sort of exercise in restriction could sound like a sad allegory about scarcity mentality. Lord knows I’ve struggled with this and can easily take on a very scrappy “depression-era human who survived the dust bowl” energy when I feel financially squeezed.
But the truth is that I really did enjoy going through my “leftovers only” gauntlet.
Because:
1) Challenges are about the attitude you bring into it (if you have a miserable attitude, it’s gonna be miserable. If you’re seeing it as a fun little obstacle course, you’ll have fun)
and
2) There’s something about the not having that can really make the having sweet.
Through lean years (most of my adult life) and flush years (recently) I’ve learned to hold both a commitment to using my resources wildly and a deep appreciation for the stuff that comes to me, in a way that I think has actually amped up my enjoyment of life/things more than if I had simply been given everything I ever wanted, 24-7, since birth.
Years ago, when I lived in Costa Rica every winter, there was a basic joy for the simple life (or “la pura vida”) that only living in a developing country could teach me.
I couldn’t buy whatever kind of breakfast cereal I wanted at the Albertson’s—I got my groceries from the weekly organic market, or at Ronny’s, the tiny bodega that had mangos and avocados and plantains and shelf-stable milk and local eggs and coca-cola in returnable glass bottles.
I didn’t have a washing machine, so I had to hand-wash and line-dry my clothes—and they always had this sort of dingy, weathered roughness to them.
I didn’t have hot water for many years, and, often, our water would shut off intermittently for no reason at all. We’d simply turn the handle of the spigot, resignedly go “sigh, ok,” realize we might not be showering or washing dishes for awhile, and then proceed to flush our toilets with previously-filled jugs.
Sometimes our electricity would shut off, and we’d hang out by candlelight while sweltering in the fan-less tropical night air.
It was the best time of my life.
Not only did the beauty and “pure life” of Costa Rica operate as a paradise for my slow-moving soul, but to this day I carry it with me: I marvel at having a full cupboard, I’m filled with wonder at the abundance in the aisles of the grocery store, I almost always think “I’m so lucky to have hot water” when I take a shower, and I find clean clothes and fresh towels and soft t-shirts to be honest-go-god miracles.
And it wasn’t only me who found the not having to sweeten the having.
One year I had a roommate—a highly active traveler my other roommates and I called “Benny the Australian Wonder Boy”—who would wake up and go on 5 mile runs and then surf for 3 hours. And one day, Benny went on a well-mannered-but-impassioned tirade about how we only had bowls for dishes.
“I just want a plate!” Benny exasperatedly proclaimed. “An actual plate to have a full meal of food with!”
For Christmas, my other roommates and I hitch-hiked to the next town over to go to the only store to buy him a plastic plate.
You would have thought it was made of gold.
Anyway, this ANNIEGRAM isn’t just a self-serving journey down memory lane (though, man, going through these photos did make me miss those days!).
This is a call to action to remember that “going without” can actually be really beautiful, meaningful, transformative, and life-giving.
Next Wednesday, March 5th, Lent starts. And although I’m not really still what you would call a “church go-er,” there’s something I love about the season and the “giving up” that goes with it—the practice of going without to make the space for more of something else.
More time to think.
More time to feel.
More time to create.
More time to be quiet.
If you’ve never done Lent, I encourage you to give it a try. You don’t have to attach any sort of religious connotation to it at all, if you don’t want.
Just think about something simple you could “go without” from March 5th to April 17th. You might be surprised at how it challenges you, inspires you, calms your mind and body, and gives you a deeper appreciation for all you have.
To the practice of going without to go within,
Annie B.
THREE GOOD THINGS
Let us all manifest the gratitude in our hearts that this 2 year-old had when he got a banana for Christmas.
More “appreciation inspo”: here’s a compilation of “Excited Train Guy” getting—you guessed it—excited about trains.
Nothing expresses the magic of “not having something, and then getting to have it” like these Tribal elders eating cheesecake for the first time