New Year's Absolutions
Your 2024 guide to making joyful goal gauntlets
When I turned 40 in 2021, my parents came to visit me in Portland, Oregon.
We did a buncha house projects at my new place, we went to a couple of scenic PNW spots, and we ate a LOT of amazing takeout.
Hence, when they left, my fridge was full of leftovers—THE GOLD OF ALL FRIDGE ITEMS!
Now, for some of you, leftovers might feel like the annoying abundance equivalent of a mountain you have no desire to climb.
For me, I see leftovers as both a joyous bounty and a challenging gauntlet. I ascribe passionately to the tenant of No Good Resource Wasted, and when I waved goodbye to my parents as they got into their SUV to make the trek back to Southern California, my mission was clear:
Now that I was in an empty home with only myself, could I finish every single delicious food item left behind?
Luckily for me, as a card-carrying Perpetually Single Person, I have acquired many skills in eating leftover food in a manner that gives me both pleasure and nourishment. No sad sack eating out of a crumpled oyster pail while standing glumly in the kitchen, here!
I savored cold sesame noodles and tossed pot stickers into broth. I re-baked french fries and onion rings in the oven to near-original crispy perfection. I ate breakfast pizza with fresh fried eggs on top and added canned garbanzo beans to flesh out side salads and nuked cold pasta with a bit of balsamic and some gorgeous shaved parm.
And when I nestled the last biodegradable takeout box lovingly into my compost bin, I felt awash with a sense of accomplishment and pride that filled me to the brim (much like the last slice of the vegan chocolate peanut butter birthday cake had filled my happy stomach).
Anyway, maybe a story about finishing a buncha takeout feels like a strange segue into talking about New Year’s Resolutions.
And it surely seem like in the past few years there’s been this anti-energy towards making New Year’s Resolutions, in general.
Mention goals for the New Year and a lot of people act irritated and enraged, as if the goals you yourself make are somehow holding them hostage to improving their own lot in life—come hell or high water.
The truth is, people don’t like being rudely told what to do—even by themselves.
And here’s what I think: there’s a pain point of making goals that lies is the subtle distinction between an “I should” mindset and an “I could” mindset.
When we make goals or resolutions from an “I should” mentality, we’re not acting with a sense of exploration or adventure or feistiness or curiosity—we’re acting as a taskmaster to our own growth.
An “I should” mentality is all about the outcome, without paying attention to the process.
An “I should” mentality is judgmental, shaming, and exacting. It demands success, perfection, absolute compliance or failure—and the accompanying guilt and feelings of low self-worth that come along with it.
When we make goals or resolutions from an “I could” mentality, we’re acting as the arbitrator of our own open potential—the permission to try, and fail, and try again, and have fun, and be resilient, and explore just exactly what could be possible for us to achieve.
An “I could” mentality is all about the process, while paying (some) attention to the outcome.
An “I could” mentality provides a cheeky lil’ challenge, a thrilling test of inner strength for us to attempt to overcome—and the accompanying self-trust and confidence that grows as we learn what we really can achieve if we come to things with determination AND a playful spirit.
Creating goals from a place of “I could” instead of “I should” doesn’t mean that we’re taking the easy way out or setting the bar low. It means we’re understanding that growth can be challenging AND entertaining, and that it’s an on-going process full of twists and turns and tweaks.
When I set my “Leftover Takeout Takedown” gauntlet, I wasn’t telling myself that if I got down to the last french fry and didn’t want to eat it, then I was a failure. I was pumping myself up to try something fun (and a bit silly), and enjoy myself along the way. And, in the end, it was really more of an exercise in mindset than a need to “do” something.” (‘Cuz no one wants to force themselves to eat food they don’t like.)
So, what do you think? Can we absolve ourselves of making our goals about perfection, and put our minds to creating cheeky lil’ "challenges for this next year?
For the next few weeks I’ll be doing some posts on how I create goals that don’t feel like horrible, soul-less tasks. Yay!
In the meantime, why don’t you share your 2024 “I could” goals in the comments? I can’t wait to cheer you on.
Love, Annie
THREE GOOD THINGS
One of the best ways I’ve found to plan out my new year is to also look back at my last one. I think I mention this every season, but Year Compass is a really delightful, insightful way to do this. And it’s FREEEEE!
Need another reason to use resources wisely? I’ll give you a hint: it starts with “In” and ends with “flation. Here’s a video that made me sob LOL.
How did I not know that there’s an American Gladiators documentary on Netlfix??? BRB need to go see what Ice, Storm, and Nitro have been up to…