California is on fire. Beloved drag queens are leaving this earthly stage far too soon. It’s raining in a Portland summer. Breonna Taylor’s murderers still haven’t been arrested. The COVID death tally is almost at 175,000--thousands of special, unique lives collectively un-mourned by our country as if they were never here. Thousands still, all over the world, are suffering as “long-haulers”— COVID patients experiencing debilitating chronic disease and unexplained, rotating symptoms over months and months of no relief.
And apparently the Heinz company decided a refreshing treat for us all to savor in this apocalyptic wasteland would be mayonnaise ice cream?
I don’t have anything super insightful to say in this week’s ANNIEGRAM.
Sometimes life is a lot, and the only thing we have to look forward to is a life where frozen desserts are now made out of salad dressing and condiments.
But I did what to check-in and ask: How have you all been coping?
Personally, I’ve been trying to compartmentalize my life into small areas I can control.
I wake up and do push-ups, adding one more each day. I perform exactly 3 sun salutations. I practice French on Duolingo and walk around my house reciting the phrases I am learning comme un perroquet. I water my garden and battle the aphids on my Brussel sprouts. I take long drives to a far away grocery store for items I could have bought close to my house, just to experience a sense of expansiveness and freedom. I watch predictable television whilst eating comfort foods. I read familiar, un-complicated books. I do puzzles for a semblance of control.
I look for copy work I can do from the safety of my home. I go into fits and starts where I try to promote my Substack subscription and my Patreon online so I can be a real writer, becoming dejected and unmotivated when I get more likes from pro-mask memes.
I try to avoid any non-essential news.
If I make plans in advance I often forget them, but I’m usually so anxious about the logistics of the plans that I have to make them in advance.
I’m often tired, sleeping more hours than feel normal.
The things that used to make me excited, don’t make me as excited anymore.
It takes a lot of energy to do stuff.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Recently I found an article that really, really, really summed up all this energetic brain drain dissonance in a way that actually made me feel better, and empowered. And I wanted to share it with you all.
I hope it gives you some hope, and maybe a sense of peace, that what we’re experiencing—as uncomfortable as it is—at least makes sense.
Because you know what doesn’t make sense?
MAYONNAISE ICE CREAM.
THIS IS NOT OK.
But you are. You are ok.
THREE GOOD THINGS