Delusion = Life Hack
Trick yourself into success
Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have the unshakeable confidence of a narcissist?
I do. I think it would be peaceful AF. Or a sad, lonely, inescapable hell of my own making on earth. The jury’s out.
What I sometimes imagine being a narcissist would look like:
What actually being a narcissist probably looks like:
Years ago I watched a reality show called Made in Mexico about socialites in Mexico City (es muy interesante if anyone needs una programma to binge), and there was this woman who:
was so arrogant and socially clueless that she literally took people on a grandstanding, guided tour of her wall of awards, and
was completely tone-deaf and artistically disinclined yet was convinced—convinced!—that she was going to become both a famous singer AND a lauded fashion designer.
I found her confidence completely cringe-worthy…until I realized that this woman, Hanna Jaff, had studied at Columbia, La Sarbonne in Paris, and Kings College in London before graduating with a masters from Harvard, founding her own organization, doing 3 Ted Talks, and holding three different political positions in the Institutional Revolutionary Party in Mexico.
Upon researching this article, I discovered that este mujer is now a member of the Spanish nobility, becoming the Marchioness of Guadiaro by marrying Francisco de Borja Queipo de Llano y Campomanes, 6th Marquess of Guadiaro and eldest son of the 12th Count of Toreno.
So, like, delusion makes shit HAPPEN.
To be fair, the privileged lifestyle and literally endless supply of financial abundance that this woman had since birth didn’t hurt her, but it was Hanna’s bullet-proof confidence and endless horn-tootin’ that really impressed me.
I, personally, can’t imagine what it would be like to just think you could succeed at whatever you wanted to and then do it. Can you?
Imagine it:
No time spent battling with an inner critic.
No hours of indecision.
No roundabouts of low confidence detouring you from the grand plan.
No self-defeating pessimism or cynicism (or any other garbage ism) making you give up before you’ve even started.
Just pure, un-challenged and unwavering faith in your abilities propelling you forward.
Recently I was talking with a friend about how, lately, we’re all a little bit delusional…but in a bad way.
And by that I mean: we feel like we should be doing more, trying harder, being better, making gains, WHATEVER.
Even though we know the past 8+ years (plus the evergreen reality of navigating a human experience in a broken world) have been extra difficult, we still somehow feel like we should be able to be thriving, baby, living our best lives and being, like, TOTALLY our best selves OMG lololololol.
But these unrealistic standards just aren’t productive, efficient, or HELPFUL.
Trying to forever always be happy shiny thrive-ers—it’s just not sustainable.
So I’m learning. I’m trying to listen to my soul instead of just berating it for not showing up the way I think it should. I’m trying to create from a place of gentleness, and make plans with low-stakes energy instead of unsustainable expectation.
I’m trying to let it be ok that I’m having less of a “hot girl summer” and more of a “menty-b monthspiral.”
And, honestly? Letting it “be ok” takes practice.
It takes dismantling internalized puritan work ethic. It takes pushing back against a system of capitalism that tells us our value is inherently linked to what we produce.
It takes deprogramming language, again and again and again, to cultivate kindness and grace in the face of unwanted outcomes.
So keep up those “delusions,” my friends.
Tell yourself you’re doing great even when your lizard brain berates you.
Give yourself a mindhug when you feel the sting of social media comparison.
Praise yourself for just bein’ here, as a human having a human experience.
Because here’s the thing: if your brain is already deluding you in UNHELPFUL ways, might as well teach it to delude you in HELPFUL ones, right?
Delulus Unite!
Annie B.
THREE GOOD THINGS
An oldie but a goodie. Jessica is my life coach and I hope every good thing comes to her…and you!
Summer pasta salad: package of cooked tortellini, package of spinach, couplea handfuls of dried cranberries, package of feta, bottle of Italian vinaigrette. Add chopped red onion if you like. BOOM! Dinner is served.
Y’all, I lose my job next week. And if you get giggles and heart-vibes from THE ANNIEGRAM, I would love it if you could become a paid subscriber or give a gift subscription to someone.
And if you can’t become a paid subscriber (which, I totally get. Inflation is a beyotch and I want my lil’ memos about mental health and living to be accessible to all forever always, regardless of el dinero) consider sharing this with a friend or two or ten. It really does help.
A huge hell yes to delusion!
I'm inspired 🙂 Thank you.